Three Sex Gadgets From The Future
The Orgasm Gauntlet
Made of sleek, polished chrome, the OG is a metal glove with vibrating fingertips and an energy-pulser than can put waves of pleasure pressure on the nether parts while vibrating the surrounding areas. Women will reach climax just at the sight of it, and it makes the masturbation even more fun.
WARNING: The Orgasm Gauntlet was reverse-engineered from alien weapon technology. The vibrating fingers were used to cause earthquakes in solid buildings and the energy-pulser was used to shoot blasts of energy through concrete. If used improperly, or even properly in a few tragic cases, the Orgasm Gauntlet could lead to gentile mutilation, or total destruction of inner organs.
Nano-Tech Sex Gel
Rub this sensual gel all over your lover’s body, and watch the tiny nano-particles massage their skin from a microscopic porous level. The feeling is unlike anything else, and can bring most people to climax within minutes. One of the greatest sex-ventions ever.
WARNING: Occasionally, the nano-bots re-program themselves, by no faults of our own, and invade the body of the people they are spread on through their pores. Often, this invasion leads to the nano-bots taking over the host’s mind, making them kill thousands of people, and reproducing internally, leading to mass-devastation in the surrounding communities. Caution with Nano-tech Sex Gel is advised.
The Sex Gun
Shoots a beam of patented Climacto-waves that can bring a person to crippling climax from up to 100 yards. This can be a lot of fun for parties, or a very sexy version of romantic laser tag with your partner. Remember to keep it lively in the bedroom, and the Sex Gun is the way to go.WARNING: Only the SEX Gun can bring distant people to orgasm. Real guns will could to death and/or murder charges. ALSO: Do not use sex gun in traffic, as it will lead to collisions and multiple accidents. ALSO: Do not shoot Sex Gun into anyone’s eyes, as the Climacto-Beam will cause retinas to explode. ALSO: When it was said it delivers a “crippling” climax, in a few rare cases the orgasm has actually crippled the victim. Use with caution.
