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5 Of The Coolest Gadgets James Bond NEVER Used

Cell Phone Gun- Flip phone takes on a whole new meaning when the phone is flipped into a gun. Point the antennae at your target, squeeze the buttons on both sides of the phone simultaneously, and plug a few rounds into the man you’re hunting. It makes that killer umbrella gun looks like nothing.

Sleeping-Bomb Booze Bottle- While Bond might like Shaken Not Stirred (depending on the movie), he wouldn’t want what is in this bottle. Why? Because it is a high-powered, sleep-inducing chemical agent. Pull off the label, which is actually a temporary gas mask, put it over your nose and mouth, then unscrew the top of the bottle, and let the liquid turn to an aerosol spray and cloud the room, knocking out anyone who needs to sleep. Good way to clear whole rooms.

Super-Tips- Small, electrified, flesh tone pads that’s attach to your finger tips, and allow you to electrically incapacitate anyone you can touch. Need to get past a guard? All you need to do it get close enough to touch him and hell hit the ground, out cold. Just apply with skin-glue and enjoy.


Bullet-Proof Suit- This isn’t just some Kevlar dressed up to look fancy, this is a real Tuxedo, and it makes Kevlar look like construction paper. Woven from high-impact spider-silk fibers and “liquid steel” thread, this tuxedo can take a point-blank shot from a Desert Eagle, and you’ll feel like it was a punch in the chest. You might not want to stand in front of an AK-47, but a few bursts won’t do too much damage, unless you take on in the head. That’s you’re fault for not ducking.

PDA Wallet- While it looks like a leather wallet, fold it open and that little, plastic card holder can be used as a screen. With wireless internet, you can check your email, contact back-up, keep mission briefings and target info, or just look at porn when your bored at a stakeout.

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Ludicrous Laws and Ridiculous Rules

In Georgia, the ban on lewd or obscene bumper stickers has been overturned after a women was fined for her anti-Bush sticker with an obscenity in it. So now, motorists’ freedom of expression has been upheld, and a quirky law overturned.

Throughout America, and the world, there exist thousands of odd, quirky and just plain freaky laws that make very little sense as to why they exist in the first place. Usually, the law comes from one specific court case where something weird happened and so the weird behavior was banned. Most of these laws are outmoded and completely ignored. If they were ever tried, more likely than not they would be overturned. For example, in many states in the U.S., atheism is illegal. If this was ever tried, the Supreme Court would overturn it immediately. So, although the laws have little effect, guessing what bizarre event lead to the law’s conception is the whole fun of knowing quirky laws. Here are some freaky laws from my home state and the cities in and around it.

In California
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

In Arcadia Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

In Baldwin Park - Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

In Chico - Driving a herd of cattle down a street is against the law.

In Chico (again) - Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.

In El Monte - Pinball machines are outlawed, as well as mock horse racing games.

In Eureka - A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.

In Fresno - No one may annoy a lizard in a city park.

In Glendale - A person must be 18 years old to buy a wax container.

In Hollywood - It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

In Indian Wells - It is illegal for a trumpet player to play his instrument with the intention of luring someone to a store. In Indian Wells (again) - Drinking intoxicating cement is prohibited.

In Los Angeles- It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.

In Los Angeles County - It is illegal to set metal balloons afloat in the air.

In Norco - All persons wishing to keep a rhinoceros as a pet must obtain a $100 license first.

In Pacific Grove - It is illegal to molest butterflies.

In Palm Springs - It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.

In Pasadena - It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.

In Redlands - Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it.

In Riverside - One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o’clock.

In Walnut - Kites may not be flown above 10 feet over the ground.

In Walnut (again) - Children may not wear a Halloween mask unless they get a special permit from the sheriff.

In Walnut (one more time) - Males may not dress as a female unless a special permit is obtained from the sheriff.

These laws are not limited to California. In Auburn, Alabama any man who has sex with a virgin girl, regardless of age or marital status, can be sentenced to five years in prison. In New Jersey, it’s illegal to pump your own gas and in Kentucky, you may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
In France you can’t wear religious symbols in any public school. In some Middle Eastern countries women aren’t allowed to drive and in Manila, only royalty can drive maroon cars. So, although California is known as a bizarre state, what with the fakeness of Hollywood and decadence of San Francisco, people should know that bizarre stuff happens all across this wide, magnificent world.

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How To Deck Out Your Dorm With Damn Good Decore

The dorms are a new experience for a lot of students. Its chance to have freedom from their parents and the ability to decorate their room how they like, except for the ability to paint their walls or slam nails into them either. Here are some suggestions as to what to put in your room and some fantastic places to get them. They may not all be available to students on a tight budget, but maybe overtime work or begging your parents can help you acquire these items.

Lava Lamps - ($15-$25) Lava Lamps are an interesting technology involving transparent oil and translucent wax in a glass bottle that gets hot by resting on top of a light bulb. The end result is an awesomely psychedelic affect that’s totally trippy when you’re burnt out from hours of studying. You can find them at most novelty stores and a good online site is www.simply70s.com, in the Lava Lamp section.

Posters - ($5-$35) What is a dorm room without posters? It’s empty and lame, that’s what it is. Unless you’re some minimalist or puritan, white boring walls are not conducive for a fun college experience. Got a favorite movie? The almost defiantly have a poster about it. Fight Club, Lord of the Rings, Johnny Deep and Angelina Jolie can now be a few inches away from your fingertips, in paper form that is. You can order any number of posters at www.allposters.com.

Mini-fridge- ($100-$300) While they are a little pricey they can also be a useful tool for keeping the thieves and moochers you live with away from your precious soda and freezer food. They can also be excellent space savers. They make great surfaces for televisions, phones or laptops. Also, you can now be so lazy on your weekends that you don’t even need to leave your room except to use the bathroom. Office Depot and CostCo both have a good variety of mini-fridges at reasonable prices.

Christmas lights - ($2-$10) They aren’t just for the holiday season anymore. Christmas lights can provide a nice environment and ambiance for the tired or people looking for romantic interludes. The multiple colors and soft light also make for great nightlights for those who are afraid of the dark. Also, most Christmas lights have a socket at the end that allows for more electronics, such as phone chargers, to have a place to be plugged in.

Beanbag chairs - ($55-$105)Bean Bag Chairs are the quintessential 60s hippy living room furniture and, if you have the space, can be a great addition to your dorm room that both you and your roomie can utilize. It makes the room look more fun, less Spartan and just a better place to learn and enjoy your hopefully short time at this university. You can find good ones are www.thebeanbagchairoutlet.com

Shelves - ($40-$100) In a tiny room like those in a dorm, space is important. You’re already living with someone in a tiny place smaller than your bedroom at home, so making sure you have room to hang out, sleep, read and relax is very important. Pick up some dark wood shelves if your going for an elegant look, or fun metal shelves if you want that neo-techno look. A place for shelves or almost any other dorm feature is www.dormbuys.com.
Smart people books - ($5-$30) Depending on the person you are trying to impress, books that make you look intelligent may help get them to warm up to you. My suggestions are The Stranger by Albert Camus, The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith, Don Quixote de la Mancha by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Six Easy Pieces by Richard P. Feynman, or The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins (as long as the person you are trying to court isn’t religious.) You can find these, and many other smart people books, at www.barnesandnobel.com.

Bettie Page calendars - ($14) Bettie Page, the sex icon of 50s, looks great when animated by the classic pin-up artist Olivia, and these calendars are a dozen of her beautiful works. A girl with a Bettie Page pin-up calendar gives of a cute sort of kinky vibe to the guys who want to get with her .A guy with a Bettie Page calendar will get to have pictures of a hot chick on the wall, but still have that touch of class. It is art after all. The 2007 calendar can be found at www.calendars.com.

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Three Sex Gadgets From The Future

The Orgasm Gauntlet


Made of sleek, polished chrome, the OG is a metal glove with vibrating fingertips and an energy-pulser than can put waves of pleasure pressure on the nether parts while vibrating the surrounding areas. Women will reach climax just at the sight of it, and it makes the masturbation even more fun.

WARNING: The Orgasm Gauntlet was reverse-engineered from alien weapon technology. The vibrating fingers were used to cause earthquakes in solid buildings and the energy-pulser was used to shoot blasts of energy through concrete. If used improperly, or even properly in a few tragic cases, the Orgasm Gauntlet could lead to gentile mutilation, or total destruction of inner organs.

Nano-Tech Sex Gel


Rub this sensual gel all over your lover’s body, and watch the tiny nano-particles massage their skin from a microscopic porous level. The feeling is unlike anything else, and can bring most people to climax within minutes. One of the greatest sex-ventions ever.

WARNING: Occasionally, the nano-bots re-program themselves, by no faults of our own, and invade the body of the people they are spread on through their pores. Often, this invasion leads to the nano-bots taking over the host’s mind, making them kill thousands of people, and reproducing internally, leading to mass-devastation in the surrounding communities. Caution with Nano-tech Sex Gel is advised.

The Sex Gun

Shoots a beam of patented Climacto-waves that can bring a person to crippling climax from up to 100 yards. This can be a lot of fun for parties, or a very sexy version of romantic laser tag with your partner. Remember to keep it lively in the bedroom, and the Sex Gun is the way to go.

WARNING: Only the SEX Gun can bring distant people to orgasm. Real guns will could to death and/or murder charges. ALSO: Do not use sex gun in traffic, as it will lead to collisions and multiple accidents. ALSO: Do not shoot Sex Gun into anyone’s eyes, as the Climacto-Beam will cause retinas to explode. ALSO: When it was said it delivers a “crippling” climax, in a few rare cases the orgasm has actually crippled the victim. Use with caution.

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17 Porn Movies Showcasing Ugly People

Accountants Gone Wild

Pig Sticker

Billy Bob Joe’s Hick Porn

Bus Drivers Who Fuck IV

Ron Jeremy Blows Himself for 3 Hours

Billy Bob Joe’s Girls With No Teeth

Texas Chainsaw Masturbator

Billy Graham’s Secret Gay Sex Video

Carrot Top Laughing as he Counts his Cash and Fucks Some Dude vol. 7

Sexy Road Kill

Hometown Buffet Customers Gone Wild

Everyone in Chattanooga Has a Giant, Flabby Orgy

That’s One Damn Sexy Wig.

Billy Bob Joe’s Emporium of Exotic Eroticism

6 Guys Standing in Line Doing the “Helicopter”

Sexy Meth Addict Divas

Billy Bob Joe’s Documentary of Billy Graham getting fucked my Carrot Top as Ron Jeremy watches. (It was a hit at Cannes, a 2004 Nominee for the Palm D’Ore)

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3 Socially-Inappropriate Places To Stash Your Baggies Of Heroin

When you need to hide your stash, for either transport or in case of raids, it’s understandable to stuff the happy dust up your bum, or in the walls. You could even stuff it down your throat, and crap it out later, although preferably not on your old gym teacher’s living room floor after you’ve broken into his house at 3 AM, strung out and insane after stomach acids burned a hole through at least one of the balloons you swallowed, allowing the narcotics to seep into your blood. Anyway, there is a code of conduct for this. You can’t just go stashing it anywhere. So here are places to AVOID stashing your stash.

1. A kidnapped baby. Although the urban legend about smuggling drugs in the stomach cavities of dead, kidnapped babies is a classic, it’s generally looked upon as “excessively horrific” and “unbelievably fucked up”. People will, generally, hold it against you. Possibly even think less of you. Also, you will NEVER be invited to any more of your friends’ kid’s birthday parties.

2. Your NEIGHBOR’S ass. Stuffing them up your own ass is one thing. If you do it to someone else, that’s just a social faux-pas. As a rule of thumb, people don’t like things forcibly rammed up their ass without permission. You may think “But hey! It’s drugs! Everyone loves drugs!” Not up their ass.

3. Wearing the baggies like a little hat. Its not that it’s stupid, but little hats are just so out of fashion. No one wears hats now days. What do you think this is? The 1950s? NO! You wear a hat, and your just BEGGING to be laughed at by the drug smuggling community!

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15 Greatest Lesser-Known Comic Book Heroes

Everyone knows the time-tested adventures of Superman and the gritty crime fighter/super detective Batman, and who doesn’t know about Professor X’s “secret” mutant school, but just because those are pop-culture icons doesn’t mean they are the best, most powerful, or even close to the most interesting characters in the universe of comic books. Here are a few smaller heroes, who may not be power players (except for #3: Hellboy) but they are some of the most creative heroes ever written.

#15. MIRANDA ZERO

She is the shadowy leader of the Global Frequency, and she is the most powerful woman in the world due to the sheer power of her international web of agents. From Warren Ellis’s series Global Frequency, Miranda Zero is the leader of an agency with 1001 agents across the world who are dedicated to keeping the public both safe and unaware of the darkness and evil caused by nations across the globe. She has the entirety Global Frequency at her fingertips, making her more powerful then almost anyone.

#14. YORICK BROWN

He is the last man on Earth, which, due to what is presumed to be a plague, is now populated entirely by women. In the comic Y: The Last Man, by Brian K. Vaughn, a spontaneous disease killed every mammal or animal with a Y chromosome, except for Yorick and his helper monkey. His story is of his travels across the planet being guarded by a special government agent woman and in the company of a genetic biologist who hopes she can find out why Yorick survived and possibly save “mankind.”

#13. WALLACE

A quiet, sensitive, caring artist and the only decent man in Sin City. He, however, is also a Navy Seal. After getting drugged, beaten, shot and kidnapped, he turns to that training to bring down all unholy hell on the scum of the town. With his long, hippy-artist hair, he is unlike most other Frank Miller characters in the Sin City series. Easily one of the only truly honest people in the damn town.

#12. INVINCIBLE ED

Due to a mix-up with alien technology, a dorky high school kid and a tough bully football jock both gain powers from a magic alien orb only intended to affect one person with super-human powers. Ed gets invincibility, and the Jock gets strength, laser vision and an array of other powers that drive him mad. Invincible Ed, by Ryan Woodward, is unique in the way it portrays its hero as a less-than-popular kid instead of the stereotypical, muscle-bound hero that you see in most other superhero comics.

#11. RICK GRIMES

The undeclared leader of some of the last remaining humans on Earth in Robert Kirkman’s terrifying and entertaining series The Walking Dead. He was a cop, and now he leads a group, including his wife and son, from one place to another looking for somewhere that they can call home, and possibly start life over again. He is pessimistic, violent and yet severely moral and dedicated to survival and his family. His is the uber-hero in the vein of the stoic defender.

#10. ALAN QUARTERMAIN

Once a hero of British legend, he is now a decrepit, starved opium addict living in Arabia when Wilhelmina Parker finds him and brings him into the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. What makes him so unique is his persistence on getting better and over his addiction, and his undying dedication to chivalry and protection of Wilhelmina. Alan Moore’s League of Extraordinary Gentleman sees some of the greatest literary characters come together to battle the forces of evil that threaten England, and Quartermain is by far the most sympathetic of the collection.

#9. DREAM


From The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman, Dream is the god of dreams and can appear as the personification of story telling, dreams and nightmares. More commonly known as Morpheus, Dream is one of seven brothers and sisters who make up the pantheon of gods. Dream was summoned to this realm by occultists, but he freed himself and the series are different tales of his adventures.

#8. DWIGHT MCCARTHY

A rough and tumble photographer from Sin City, Dwight spends a lot of time snapping shots of cheating husbands and knocking back shots at Kadie’s Club Pecos. He is drawn back into a love affair with his ex who accuses her rich husband of abuse and kidnapping. When Dwight goes to investigate, it turns out that his ex was, in fact, a femme fatale and plugs him full of rounds. After serious facial surgery, he becomes a new man, with a new deadly vision: Taking revenge on the dame who messed up his life. Dwight is similar to a Philip Marlow or possibly Walter Neff (played by Fred MacMurray) from Double Indemnity.

#7. GOON

In a world of mobs, The Goon is a mobster hit man on the human side who works tirelessly to rid the city of the annoying yet powerful zombie mafia with the help of his massive muscles and helpful sidekick Frankie. The Goon, by Eric Powell, is set in a noir crime age, and although that genre was limited to drama in the films, the comic incorporates dark and outlandish humor in a way unseen in any other comic series.

#6. V

While some call him an anarchist, and others call him a terrorist, the smooth, educated, knife-wielding, bomb-planting violent activist of Alan Moore’s V for Vendetta is unlike any other hero in comics. You agree with him, but just barely because of the severity of his actions, but his rationalizations, his flair, is genius and his background inexplicably command you to root for him, even during his most violent acts.

#5. THE GREAT MACHINE

The man who can talk to machines, Mitchell Hundred, is known as The Great Machine. Elected Mayor of New York after preventing the second plane from hitting the WTC by talking to the plane itself, Mitchell gives up the mantle of “superhero” to focus on task of Mayor and out of shame that he was unable to save both towers (instead of just the one). His weakness turns out to be a simple device, a bow and arrow, which is too basic to be controlled by him. The Great Machine appears in the comic Ex Machina, written by Brian K. Vaughn and Tony Harris. Mitchell’s ability to control things with his words and thoughts are noticeably similar to Jesse Custer’s “voice of God” power (see: #1). The series, as a whole, is very enjoyable.

#4. MARV

A resident of Sin City making a third appearance on this list is Marv. He is a tough-as-nails street thug, built like a the bastard love-child between a Linebacker and a mountain. With startling strength, impressive athleticism, and ability to get hit with boxes of bullets without dying, Marv is easily the deadliest person in the town, and is even used by Dwight McCarthy (see: #8) to storm the mansion of Dwight’s murderous ex-lover. He has a penchant for old cars, saying that most modern cars look like electric shavers, and a love of old country rock. He is the quintessential anti-hero who makes you feel kind of guilty for your whole-hearted support of his violent, bloody tactics.

#3. HELLBOY

With skin as red as embers, filed horns that make him look like he’s sporting aviator goggles on his head, and a giant, indestructible stone hand that was intended to bring about the end of the world, Hellboy is one of the most creative and enjoyable comic books characters to have ever been invented. Hellboy, created my Mike Mignola for Dark Horse comics, incorporates Lovecraftian lore and authentic cultural myths to create a believable, enjoyable series that has everything from bashing monsters to killing Nazis. Hellboy is a brooding yet affable hero wresting with his inner turmoil over his supposed apocalyptic destiny and this subtle inner-conflict, mixed with his fast-paced, immersive adventures, makes him easily the most readable character in comic books.

#2. DOCTOR MANHATTAN

Another character with unusual skin, Doctor Manhattan is one of the most powerful characters in comics, and certainly the most in the comic Watchmen, by Allan Moore. Created by a horrible accident involving the process of pulling apart atoms, Dr. Manhattan has control over everything as a subatomic level. He is basically apathetic towards most of human affairs and is incredibly distant from human involvement, but somehow he is a likeable, incredibly readable character. From creating people to braking things down to their atomic level with him mind, he is capable of anything, and for that alone he is worthy of being known as one of the greatest superheroes ever.

# 1. JESSE CUSTER


The character with the most horrifying background, the strangest friends and the most original power of any character in comics. He has “The Word.” He can command people to do anything he wants them to do. He is the host for the disembodied offspring known as Genesis, the result of the coupling of a Demon and an Angel. Genesis is more powerful than God himself, and he is now in the body of Reverend Jesse Custer. This puts him in the cross hairs of The Grail, a secret organization dedicated to the protection of the bloodline of Jesus, an invincible old west gunslinger known as The Saint of Killers, with perfect aim and endless bullets and even God, who is evil, scared and pathetic in comparison to how awesome Jesse is. Preacher, by Garth Ennis, is one of the most original and disturbing comics ever written and is a must-read for any graphic novel fans with a strong stomach and thick skin.

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